


Hey, Imaginary Friend.

by blueism



Series: Glass. [Dream Angst] [6]
Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, But also not, Depression, Espresso Depresso, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mentioned GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), POV First Person, hehe, majorly, no beta we die like george's lungs when he tells dream to scram, youll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:08:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29706603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueism/pseuds/blueism
Summary: Where is somewhere? Does that even make sense? It has to, right? Everything can make sense if you piece the right things together.OR:Talks with an imaginary friend.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & GeorgeNotFound & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF)
Series: Glass. [Dream Angst] [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2126262
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	Hey, Imaginary Friend.

**Author's Note:**

> I am actually really proud of this ngl
> 
> don't read if you've got not-so-great mental health

Hey there. I’ve got no idea why I’m talking to you like this. I’m going batshit crazy, aren’t I? Insanity’s a strange topic. Who decides the barrier between sanity and insanity? Who enforces the barrier between the two polar opposites? What’s the median? Too many questions and not enough answers. That idiom actually would make sense to a child. Weird things, honestly, how people purposefully make things so obscure. Maybe that’s ironic, it’s up to you to decide.

-

Hi there, imaginary friend. You are a friend right? Of course, I didn’t expect you to answer. You’re just a fragment of my imagination, what my brain uses to deal with life. That’s all you ever are, all you ever will be. Yesterday I thought of giving you a name, but you’re not real, are you? Maybe somewhere, you’d be answering and I didn’t have to feel alone. This place is not that somewhere. And I wonder: do I even want it to be?

-

Maybe I’m selfish. Everyone says so. It makes me feel selfish. I can’t distinguish between my own thoughts and others’ thoughts anymore. My mother would say it’s pathetic. My father would probably say that that’s not the person he raised, but then again, he didn’t do much of raising, and the person isn’t really much of a person. Does it really count if you don’t feel like anything’s right in the world? That you hate the world for giving you a life like the one I’m living, yet you still want to revel in vitality? Maybe that’s why they say I’m selfish. If I ask, then won’t I just be selfish for wanting their time? 

-

Is it wrong to want something that doesn’t belong to you? Mother would say that it’s called greed and she knows best, right? I don’t know, you decide. Actually, I don’t know much these days. I mean, I know the more textbook-oriented things, because they’re easy to remember. Not easy to focus on, but when was anything ever? I don’t really understand love, either. The people that surround me would just say that it’s a hyperbole, that I’m lying or exaggerating. What I know love to be is spots of purple hidden behind concealer. That’s what the parents called it, anyway. Maybe love is that warm feeling that rises up when I get praise. Maybe that’s just me being affection-starved. Probably. 

-

Hey, imaginary friend. Aren’t yells keeping you awake all night just the norm? And sobbing for no particular reason. Maybe on the behalf of the other one who’s facing loud voices. Would I be better off without memories? Maybe I’d finally conform to society’s norms. Maybe. Do I want to? I should want to. What is society anyway besides “the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community”? Do you know? Maybe you do, but you won’t answer.

Did I really expect you to answer?

~~Pathetic.~~

-

Why is it that when we’re young, the most we feel is physical pain, yet when we’re older, it flips? At least you can’t die of heartbreak, I guess. If you do, it’s indirectly. It’s always indirectly. I wonder how it’d feel? Death’s such a weird topic. Most people spend fortunes trying to avoid it. Why? It sounds pretty peaceful. Either complete nothingness or just a blank void. Sure, one would go insane, but at least they wouldn’t have to worry about society. Maybe I’m overthinking this. Everyone else would say so.

-

I wonder, friend, if the concept of pain is truly bad? It can teach you lessons the hard way. That idiom is also quite easy to understand, isn’t it, friend? You’re not going to answer, you never do. I don’t expect you to either, you’re just like every other person who’s ever had the misfortune of being involved in my life. You’ll see but never do. It’d just be a waste of effort, after all, wouldn’t it be? Would it hurt to hang yourself? I know it hurts to cut yourself. They tell you that the habit of self-harm is bad, that you should quit. They’ve clearly never gone through it themselves. It’s addicting to me. I could just be bizarre. I probably am. 

-

Sometimes I find my brain wandering, when I want to be anywhere but here. Is that so wrong of me? I might get a sharp word or two sent my way, but what’s new? Two people approached me today. They remind me of George and Sapnap. Tsundere and overly confident extrovert. Not sure what they wanted, because everyone’s got a hidden motive. Besides, if they get too close, they’ll just be pushed out with thorns stuck in them. That’s just how I roll. ~~It’s what happened to them~~. I wonder if you do the same. Probably not.

-

I don’t understand why he stays around. It’s only a matter of time until he leaves, right? Just like everyone else. He’s kind of like me in a way. We’re both quiet. I used to be louder. I learned to be quieter. Techno acts apathetic. I don’t get why, but I also don’t get myself, so who am I to judge? He’s like an anchor. I don’t know what I’d do without him, yet I do have to brace myself for when he leaves. Everyone does. Society didn’t decide that for them. Maybe that’s why it stings. 

-

Where is somewhere? Does that even make sense? It has to, right? Everything can make sense if you piece the right things together. Too bad I’m too tired. Mother would say that I’m not tired, merely moping and cosplaying as a useless son. She says that a lot. Does it count as toxicity? She says I’m obligated to love her as her biological son. She always enunciated the biological part of it to the point where I wonder if the others are adopted. Maybe. I’m too scared to ask, anyhow. Pathetic, right? I bet if you were here you’d nod along. On autopilot. I don’t blame you either.

-

Hey there. I’m pretty sure if this was a movie, this would just be about the point where the protagonist gets help. Probably. Happy endings always come to them, and it has me wondering why they install false hope into others. Happy endings are really rare here. Maybe in another world, they wouldn’t be. Maybe where you are, if you’re somewhere that’s not in my head. 

-

I feel a bit better, I guess. Techno’s helped a lot. Sorry to talk about my- friend to you, another friend, but oh well. You don’t respond anyway. At least I don’t feel like cutting anymore. Techno tossed out the razor today. It was kind of mortifying, but Techno’s got this way with people. I like that. Not sure how long it’ll last. Today just made me sure that I really rely on Techno. I still wouldn’t blame him if he left though. Mother drilled the fact that I was unloveable into my head. She’s always right.

-

I’d ask how you’re doing, yet I think that you wouldn’t respond. I like to think that someone out there is actually listening, but it’s probably just wishful thinking. Probably. Statistical words are always funny. They never specify the actual percentage. What percentage counts as probably, anyway? I wonder if you’d go on about a definition from the dictionary or come up with it in your head. You never answer, but that’s really the thing with imagination, I guess. It’s all in my head.

-

I’m getting a premonition. You probably should know what that means. My premonitions are usually right. It’s a curse sometimes. I should be grateful though, yet what is there to be grateful for? The answer is mainly Techno for me. That’s probably going to be gone too soon, and then it’s just a race against time. I hate how dependant I am. Wonder if you’d hate it too? Don’t bother answering, just in case you, you know, could answer. 

-

I-. I was right. I feel numb though. I probably look utterly deranged, but I was that the first time I started talking to you as if you were sentient, more than just something I made. I don’t know when I became more reliant on you. It’s stupid, really. I’m stupid. That’s fine though. I won’t be long for this world in any case. Idiotic, as always. That’s probably my trademark by now.

-

Hey, imaginary friend. I realize, that I’ve never told you my name. Maybe I assumed you’d know, maybe just because you’re in my head. My name is Dream, and this is both a hello and goodbye. I wonder now if you’d responded, would I be any better? Maybe. Maybe not. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I don’t blame you for not responding. Maybe you’d blame yourself. I sound sadistic, but some part of me hopes so. Maybe this was just something I don’t believe in- fate, destiny woven with flimsy red strings. You might not believe in fate. Maybe once I would’ve, somewhere and sometime long, long ago. It’s funny, honestly, how I’m sitting here, one inch away from death, and I’m chatting to my mind. Thus is the way of life, I guess.

Unfair and out to get you.

That may just be paranoia.

Is it really paranoia if it **_is_** out to get you though?

Hey imaginary friend.

Thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> ty for reading :)
> 
> my doc was literally named 'dreangst'


End file.
